What No One Tells You About Getting Older

Jul 15 / Jeremy Sycks

One day, you wake up and everything feels… off. Not in a dramatic, the world is ending kind of way. But in a quiet, eerie, how did I get here sort of way.

You’re still you but somehow, life has rearranged itself around you. The furniture of your reality has shifted. Childhood dreams, unprocessed traumas, and unanswered questions are now part of the decor.

And as you stare into the mirror, you can’t help but wonder, “Wait… when did I become the adult in the room? Who signed off on this?”
That’s the strange secret no one tells you about growing older: you don’t actually feel older.
You just feel tired. Sometimes existentially tired.

A soul deep kind of weariness that no nap or vacation seems to fix. People say, “You just need more sleep,” but even 14 hours later, you can wake up jet-lagged from dreams that felt too real, too heavy, too much.

And then there’s the mourning. Not of people, but of potential. The version of yourself you thought you'd be by now — confident, healed, thriving, emotionally intelligent, maybe even drinking enough water and understanding how a Roth IRA works. But instead, you find yourself scrolling social media at 1:36 a.m., comparing your blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel, a spoonful of cold cereal in your mouth and a quiet panic in your chest you can’t name.

You are not lazy. You are not broken. You’re just tired. burned out, numb, half-functioning on caffeine and unresolved childhood baggage. The other half googling how to feel feelings again like it’s a product on Amazon Prime.

What is rarely mentioned is how your world gets smaller as your worries grow larger. Friends become calendar entries you reschedule twice, then cancel altogether. “Let’s catch up soon” becomes “How’s next month?” and the thread dies there. And you start to wonder: Is this normal? Is this adulthood?

Yes and No.

Life doesn’t "click" at 30. Or 40. Or 50. There’s no grand moment where you finally feel like you've arrived. Instead, you just get better at pretending, at carrying the weight, at joking about your baggage like it’s a designer set that is limited edition with matching emotional luggage.

You begin to understand that healing isn’t a staircase, success doesn’t solve your insecurities, and love, even the best kind, doesn’t always fix the ache of loneliness. Sometimes happiness feels boring. Sometimes growth feels like grief. Sometimes becoming feels like losing. And, here’s something else nobody wants to say out loud: you don’t have unlimited time.

One day, you’ll do something for the very last time and not even realize it. The last spontaneous trip to the mountains. The last wild night out that costs you a two-day recovery. The last time your at the grocery store and you see a cereal you ate as a child and it leaves you in tears in aisle seven.

You can’t go back. But you can choose.

You can choose to stop abandoning yourself. You can choose to stop racing to become someone else. You can choose, instead, to show up for the version of you that exists right now — messy, exhausted, imperfect, and still worthy.

And maybe the most healing truth of all is that life isn’t a ladder. It’s a forest path that is wild, tangled, and breathtaking. Some days you’re running. Some days you’re lost. Some days you’re curled up under a metaphorical tree wondering what the hell you're doing. But the beauty is in the becoming.

There’s an old parable about a cracked clay pot. For years, it leaks water along a path. One day, the woman carrying it says, “Look at all the flowers along your side of the road. You watered them every day.” That pot thought it failed. In truth, it bloomed and created something beautiful.

That’s you!

Your cracks haven’t broken you, they’ve made you a gardener of grace, of laughter, of resilience. You’ve survived things that tried to break you. And you’re still here!

Getting older is weird. Yes, it’s bills and back pain and Googling symptoms at 2 a.m. It’s also second chances, soul-deep friendships, and learning to love the quiet. It’s letting go of perfection. It’s remembering who you were before the world told you who to be. It’s allowing two things to be true: you can miss who you were and still be excited about who you’re becoming.

It’s cleaning one dish and calling it victory.

It’s crying in the shower and still showing up for work.

It’s texting a friend just to say “thinking of you,” even if they haven’t replied in weeks.

It’s laughing so hard at a meme you forget why you were sad.

And above all, it’s giving yourself permission to not have it all figured out.

You don’t need to hustle for your worth.

You don’t have to impress to be enough.

You are already worthy... as you are, where you are.

So take a deep breath. Let it fill your lungs like you finally believe you deserve air. Drink water. Text someone you love. And keep going. Not for the aesthetic. Not for the applause. Just because you’re becoming.

And that? That’s more than enough.

Because the best parts are the ones that don’t make it to your to-do list.

The peace that sneaks in unannounced.

The friendships that feel like home.

The mornings you wake up without dread.

The version of you who’s not perfect, not unscarred, but rooted, real, and finally free.

For we are not broken or behind, we’re human, still unfolding, and more resilient than we could ever realize.

About The Author
Jeremy Sycks is the CEO and Founder of Believe Build Conquer. He is a International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach, NLP Master Life Coach and Trainer, and a Certified Mental Health Coach.